*unless otherwise noted, all writings and photographs are mine.

Permalink My favorite sculpture of all time.

Dear America,

Half a world away isn’t far enough to escape the heartbreak and disgust you engender.  I wonder if death is or if our founding fathers and all the brave women and men who built this country from the ground roll over in their graves vomiting.  If they are actually able to look down from wherever, they must be weeping to see the mess we have made of their beloved United States of America.  The mess we have made of ourselves.  The mess we refuse to take responsibility for.

But why should we?  We don’t take responsibility for anything else.  There is always something or someone else to blame.  The mental disorder, the devil, the booze and the drugs, the unfair world that never gave us a chance.  We are like children trying to escape a spanking by yelling “But so and so made me do it.”  What will it take for us to look down at all the ash in our bloody hands and realize that all this time there was no one else to blame but ourselves; our choices? 

We are a nation that seeks out convenient scapegoats like we found in Obama.  How anyone could be ignorant enough to believe he was responsible for the debt our country was in when he entered office is beyond me.  Pretty hard thing to do, rack up trillions of dollars of debt in less than a month in office.  In fact not only hard but impossible.  Did you forget the eight years under George W?  Did the futile war on terror we had been fighting for six years slip your minds?  Or did you think that cost us nothing?  Did you miss the ticker tape messages that our treasury was printing money we had no means to back?  Or did you just not care as long as you had enough of that monopoly money in your pocket to go out and buy the newest toy and feast yourself on alcohol and a good time?

Do you care now?  Are you ready to be more than a weightless piece of paper cast to send someone else to make a bigger mess of our country?  Or will you just stand in that box and check off a name and go back to your impossibly small life thinking that the newest pretender actually gives a damn about the flock?  Worse yet will you abstain whining that your vote doesn’t matter?  If you are all so unconcerned and unwilling to stand up and take back your voice in your country we should just give up this charade of a democracy of the people, by the people, for the people and name the corporations our dictators.  They already run our country and if you think they do not then you are the fool damning our country again and again and again.  We could at least have the decency to be honest with ourselves and the world that laughs at us.

How long will you deny your culpability in all this?  How long will you spurn your end of the bargain in this democracy?  Do you think sitting around and complaining changes anything?  Do you earnestly believe that it is acceptable to wrap yourself up in your petty indulgent self contained world while your country goes to seed?  Do you actually think our government that divides itself in trifling arguments and name calls; that grows fat on the handouts from big business at your expense is going to fix this? Your penchant for doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome is absurd, one went far enough to say that it is insane.  I for one am not inclined to argue.

Paltry division does not serve the common man.  It solves nothing.  If you are intent on standing divided then at least be divided by something that matters.  Divide yourself from the casual lies and the idiocy that reigns in our country.  Divide yourself from the masses that have forgotten what liberty is.  Set yourself apart from the banality of what patriotism has come to mean and take up the mantle of pure patriotism. Act in the wisdom of rigorous love for your country and its people and stop being content to do nothing while the government makes them bleed for nothing.  Stop deluding yourself that it is okay that your fellow man suffers and dies because he does not have health insurance and cannot afford medical care.  It is not okay that people have to choose between paying a bill and buying food for their family while the rich get richer and are exempted from contributing to the people breaking their backs under the yoke of their greed.  It is cruel to suffer the poor to pay for their luxury. 

And don’t you dare say that is just life.  Life is only this way because we allow it to be.  Nature is cruel but we do not have to be.  If we want to exalt ourselves above the common beast because of our power of reasoning then why do we not use it for anything else than satisfying the carnal lusts within that are no different than theirs?     Life does not have to be this way.  We can choose differently if we are brave enough to labor for something better.  If we will stop viewing working for the good and betterment of all mankind as evil socialism and see it for what it is: our inherent duty to our sisters and brothers.  “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to see me.”

It is not you and me against the world.  It is us together in the world.

How long will you allow us to be destroyed by lack of knowledge?  How long will you just believe every word that comes out of some person’s mouth because he speaks under the banner of the political party you endorse?  Truth is not born of words but deeds.  Will you never learn this?  Are you even capable when your whole life is built on saying one thing and doing another?  Going to church and washing it all clean with a prayer you do not mean, not in truth, because all you really want is a quick fix; a savior to clean up after you. Wake up.  These politicians are not saviors.  They are slick talking power and money hungry charlatans that care nothing for you.  And Jesus already came once.  He is done with redeeming you from the disasters you make.  He has left you responsible for your actions and put you in charge of your own destiny.  He is not moved by your empty words and sacrifices that cost you nothing.  He is not impressed by your absolution of personal responsibility in the name of the sin nature; the lie that renders you incapable of doing anything else.  He said go and sin no more.  Would he tell us this if it could not be done?  Do you actually believe he died so we could refuse to take responsibility for our choices?  Do not confuse being made blameless by his grace with freedom from consequences.  We will reap what we sow in this life or the next.  God will not be mocked.

We must not sit idly by.  We must not forsake our duty to one anotherr nor the debt we owe to every person who has bled and died that we might have freedom.  We must not allow virtue to be sold for wealth nor liberty for power.  And we cannot continue in our ignorance because it is in that gilded cell that tyranny reigns.  We must stand as one and take our country back; return it to the people.  It is revolution or enslavement.  And if you do not see this then I fear terribly for what the coming years will see our country reduced to.  The wolves are at our throats, will you be lions or sheep?


white static

you are just noise now.

that’s all.

just. noise.


Fell Flowers

In this space between the turning of the hour,
between one day and the next, I gather tremulous hopes
to me in barbed sprays like wild fragrant flowers.
Their dread beauty undoes me; filling me with a pain most
terrible and I am afraid of this needing-
this tireless wanting-blooming red within the wasteland
of my heart. Yet, still, I cling quite desperately
to this bone deep feeling. And with clear voice weave enchantments
in the ancient languages and command frail hope
not to disappoint but to bring to peace tender love dreams
that I might never know the emptiness of home
without you, my love, near to me; filling me with beauty.



I never knew it could be like this-

electromagnetic gravity
pulling particles, dispersed wishes,
binding fulfillment to that longing.
Hope orchestrating ardent melody
within my heart, beseeching me to sing
a siren enchantment over the moon;
fore I am the shore and you the ocean
and I would bid my handmaiden bring you
crashing into me again and again-

a force of nature like gravity.




This is pic touches on something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. No, not Miyazaki (though he is awesome and worthy of much awe and ponderance)

Its how all the worst shit in America is dirt cheap. I can buy 2 cheeseburgers, fries, a box of Little Debbies and wash it all down with a gallon of gasoline for 6 bucks. Which incidentally is the price for a gallon of petro in countries like England and Italy.

Jeff Garland, the chubby guy from Curb your Enthusiasm, has recently become health conscious because he wanted to be around to see his kids grow up. When asked about his new lifestyle he said that it is insanely inconvenient. And he has time and money! Imagine being poor and a mother of 3 who works some $10 dollar an hour job.

When I was a kid cigarettes were dirt cheap. $2 a pack. Now they are $10 in the big city. And you can’t smoke anywhere. Say what you want but you don’t find many 2 pack a day smokers anymore.

Lets face it. Most of us are convenience junkies. I don’t eat healthy, cuz Dammit! I don’t have time to land my flying car and get out. I’ve got terrible pointless shit to do… like blog picture of kittens on the net! And someday this is where the aliens will find us. Fat, alone and in some desolate wasteland littered with Dr. Pepper cans. Transfixed by some grainy hologram of some little thing that makes us smile or cry. or perhaps its porn… just something that makes us feel alive inside.

- Hookers or Cake

pic reblogged from devilduck:yellowblog (via kohidekazu)


you could have at least gift wrapped it

it shouldn’t have surprised me.  not one little bit.

but it did.

Permalink ahh, hookersorcake, i have the biggest tumblr crush on you.  thanks for the humor and brilliance yet again.

My mom had let me stay up late to watch the Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson. She told me that one of the most brilliant minds in the world was going to be on and she wanted me to see him.
I watched very intently.
Years later in a deep meditative state, I realized that she had mixed up Nelson Rockefeller with Charles Nelson Reilly.
a happy mistake

you held me tighter

Till then is now.  That’s what you wrote.  There was no ending salutation just the open ended expectation that our lives would intersect again.  The lingering promise of the path not taken…

Till then is now I wait.  That’s what I replied.  I wrote nothing of the ache lodged within the center of my chest or how all i could think about at night, as he slept beside me, was of the nights curled inside the curve of your body; whispering to one another in the witching hours.  I forced myself to put away those thoughts because I was afraid that I wasn’t running to you but running away from him. 

Then, well, then became now.  You stepped out of that door and reached for me.  Pulled me back to you.  And I felt a thousand years of waiting surge and crash over me.

Then, you held me tighter.